Rewriting Negative Scripts
I'll never forget almost being traded to another football team — in high school.
During a preseason game, I overthrew a receiver. By a lot. My coach stopped the game, berated me for the mistake, then yelled across the field to the opposing coach: "Who will you give me for this guy? I'll trade him to you right now!"
I hung my head.
Went back to the huddle.
Tried not to cry.
Called the next play.
Counselor Peter Scazzero has identified what he calls negative scripts — voices that surface daily, often out of nowhere, telling us we're not good enough, that no one likes us, or that our work is doomed to fail. Scazzero explains that an internalized message from the past shapes our conscious and unconscious behaviors in the present. I've heard these voices throughout my professional career, and even as a husband, dad, and friend.
After I send a clumsy email, lose my patience with my seven-year-old, or lead a less-than-stellar meeting, I can almost hear someone shouting across the street: "Who will you give us for this guy? We'll trade him right now!"
Becoming healthy includes the hard, often harrowing work of identifying these scripts — naming what is hurtful and untrue, and replacing those worn-out tracks with the truth.
Here's a simple framework:
Write down the lie. Things lose power when we name them.
Rehearse the truth. Remind yourself of your worth and your ability.
Admit where you need help. Often, a negative script is camouflaging a simple weakness that happens to be a strength for someone else on your team.
Expect the lie to return. Negative scripts have a way of morphing and resurfacing — and that's okay. You'll recognize it faster next time. Write it down again.
This is one of the ways we want to protect the asset at Midwest. It's how we learn to do the deep work of caring for ourselves, so we can care for each other and our clients.
